why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
