Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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