Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
