she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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