This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
