OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
