We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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