She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she peed on how many people?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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