I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
