I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
