So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
