Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
