Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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