Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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