Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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