I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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