so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
