What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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