i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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