none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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