i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
BRING THE BAGELS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
