shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You ate ashes out of my bong
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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