so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize