i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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