so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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