I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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