I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
