I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Someone shattered a urinal.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
