You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
