singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
