I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
