No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
