i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
