Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
