okay pat passed out under dana's car
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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