I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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