I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
