I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
