last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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