She's JV to your varsity
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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