Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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