East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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