just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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