he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize