I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize