I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
