I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
