Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
