I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
