Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize