She's JV to your varsity
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
