That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
