I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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