Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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