those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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