id be glad to
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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