Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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