just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do vagina's smell?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
