C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize