it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
