She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
