Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize