feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
