omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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