I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
