WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
