i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just cut my nipple shaving
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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