so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
