fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
