Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
