Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
