Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
