i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Randomize
