this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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