Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
