These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
