I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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