I want to have your abortion
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
