quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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