You really coming over, don't trick.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
