Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize