also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
