i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
