Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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