Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize