Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
