Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All the doctor said was why
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
