I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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