He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
