yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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