Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
