I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
