Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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