Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
